I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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les mon ki

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Posts: 6

(07/30/03 00:41:59)

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Ouch, I'm a lesbian but I fall in love with a straight woman. WHAT TO DO?! Keep chasing her or forget it and find someone else? Nope, I haven't told her what I feel and I don't think I should. Guess what, my face turns red and my heart beats harder when I see her in person. She's a friend of a friend of mine, and both don't know about my sexuality.

I know this sounds so silly but I didn't force myself to fall I just fall naturally. It's hard to find the way out though. :sad4

chicoroll(d)

Tricky Situation

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Posts: 23

(07/30/03 02:29:21)

This is a tricky situation, but I feel one that is quite common! I think my advice to you in this circumstance would be to not tell her, because she is straight, and you are good friends. I know it is hard. :?2

You see, if you tell her how you feel, then you could lose the friendship. I wouldn't say anything to her and see what fate hands out to you. By then, you may have forgotten your feelings for her and met someone else who you can confront easily.

There will be people thinking "how will you know how she feels if you dont tell her how you feel?", but in this case, I don't think it is worth the risk telling her. If she felt the same way, you would have picked up on some subtle hints by now.

Tango71

Re: Tricky Situation

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Posts: 1524

(07/30/03 11:21:32)

ADMINISTRATOR

Very good advice ChicoRoll! I agree with you on that!

A person should pick up on some subtle hints, if the person they are attracted to has the same feelings for them. :flykiss

I think it is best that you cultivate the friendship first and see what goes from there.

Just me,

Tango71
Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember.
Involve me and Iunderstand.
-- Chinese Proverb

les mon ki

Re: I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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Posts: 6

(07/30/03 19:29:16)

Thanks. I sure won't tell her. *Sigh* You guys are right, if I ever told her what I feel, it might break our relationship. :disap

rosedollar

Re: I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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Posts: 4446

(07/31/03 19:44:50)

SENIOR MODERATOR

Hello there les mon ki! Welcome to the forum!

I understand your predicament. Usually i am all for expressing how we feel, but in your case, yeah i think it is better to hold it off for a while. Sometimes too much self expression can do worse things than good.

Hang in there. It is best to kepp still first than to ruin a good friendship.

Warm regards!

immature1

Re: I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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Posts: 289

(08/23/03 05:32:29)

HOT SHOT

Hi les.. been in ur shoes and.. the others are right.. be her friend and try to find out if she have a tendency to like girls too.. like you.

anyway, I did the same though.. befriend this girl Im attracted to. str8 girl, younger.. we work for the same company. we became so close that we always go out together till wee hours everyday, which happened for more than a month. I felt I was able to establish something with her coz normally she won't go out with our other friends... and there are some other signs that pushed me to confess. it was really hard.. I asked a gal friend of mine that know my sexuality and who also works at the same firm, what to do. she convinced me not to tell coz I may not like the outcome and I agreed to her... till one night when this girl that I like and I went to eat dinner but ended up eating breakfast.

initially I was like telling her that I needed to confess something.. and she'd ask what?.. and Id go.. later when we're done eating na lang.. till its morning na pala.

sheesh.. ang bagal ng kwento ko.. anyways.. as we walk to the parking lot.. I began babbling.. I wasn't sure but I find it hard to stop.. she was so nice to look at.. listening very well to every word I say.. that forced me to tell. my prelude was so clear that anybody can understand what I was going to tell her.. but she was acting so stupid like she's not getting it... I was like.. (duh! what's up with this girl? I know she's intelligent but why can't she get it?) oh well, she maybe was just playing fool so she hear me say the exact words... and I told her....

... I like you!

and i go... whooops! (he he he.. I didn't slip) but I went on saying..

I know its not right but I can't help but to like you. I want this feeling to stop so this will be our last dinner together. Dont worry wont ask you to go out with me anymore..

I know those pahabol made her feel uneasy.. coz she felt I wasn't even sure of myself that I even condemn what I feel. Saw her eyes look so sad, and she told me that it wasnt my fault and she doesnt want me to feel tormented inside. She said were still be friends and she did keep her word. Its just me who changed... coz of my stupidity.. Im ashamed to talk to her again.

so stupid of me.. *sigh*

Lesson learned.. if u feel like it.. say it.. then stand up for what u feel... and don't be like me.

.:immature:.

" perpetually inert "

rosedollar

Re: I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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Posts: 4446

(08/23/03 11:38:39)

SENIOR MODERATOR

lol immature.. you crack me up! *composing myself lol :lol

.. I am not laughing at you okay? It's just how you told the story.. it was kinda funny

Well... frankly.. i think the girl knew exactly what you were saying.. she just kinda played dumb because maybe she was new to this "sort of thing" and didn't know how to react, know what i mean?

I remember my ex, we were like going out together just like you and somehow, i knew what she was trying to say with all her actions but of course i didn't want to jump into conclusions (being straight) .. and i wanted to hear the thing that perhaps i was dreading to even hear.. but i just gotta be sure.. so i sorta played dumb, lol :lol

It was like a coping mechanism for me because i didn't "know" for sure what was going to happen.

Oh well, you are right about what you said, about standing up for it, you know. I think it was really "minus pogi points" (if you'll call it that ) .. that you seemed to be apprehensive and inhibited in expressing what you felt.

Oh well.. charge it to experience. You'll have better days, i am sure

Jayvee4u

Re: I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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Posts: 424

(08/24/03 23:42:52)

ARTICULATOR

hmm...if roses who used to be straight now ended up with tango, then it is one shining example that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to a straight woman.

Love seeks no gender."No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance."

Most of my relationships were with straight or bisexual women. I don't think I ever got involved with someone who is a lesbian. I don't see anything wrong with falling for a straight woman. I always believe that it is best to let the person know what you feel rather than torment your life with the "what ifs?".What if she won't reciprocate?What if she will laugh at me?What if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore? You see, what you think, you become.

On the positive note, what if she too feels something special for me? You will never find out the answer unless you try, right?

You may all react that even if you have a relationship with a straight woman, it won't last long. I think in any kind of relationship, there are no guarantees. No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK. No one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

rosedollar

how can i not?

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Posts: 4446

(08/25/03 11:13:40)

SENIOR MODERATOR

tell me, how can i not miss Jayvee's words of wisdom??

miss you Jayvsss!! :miss

Jayvee4u

how can i not?

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Posts: 424

(08/26/03 00:30:03)

ARTICULATOR

too, my dear :@<--

immature1

I hit the baddest chicks..

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Posts: 289

(09/06/03 06:35:07)

HOT SHOT

I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
I hit the baddest chicks
what? what?? maaaagic

roses i'm not really good in dealing with chicks..

got any tips? if you'd say just be me... you mean, I should be me.. be the stupid me?

tips, anyone? not ligaw tips ha? kse I believe I don't make ligaw.. i just make the person feel that I like her..

.:immature:.

" perpetually inert "

rosedollar

Re: I hit the baddest chicks..

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Posts: 4446

(09/17/03 00:28:41)

SENIOR MODERATOR

Who me? give advice on how to be cool with chicks?? waaahhhh i don't want chicksss!!! LOL :lol

hihihi... am no expert! lol

But oh well.. okay i will spare you with the "just be yourself" cliche ..

You said you don't want to make "ligaw" and you just make the person feel you like her? Well just keep doing it imma.. i think you are doing good at it! Be a friend! Everybody likes a friend

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I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

I'm attracted to the WRONG person! :: Need some advices

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