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Thanks for the replies folks!

I really appreciate the backing I have received from the people on this board!

I have to admit...I do analyze stuff a bit too much at times. However, I feel that there is nothing left to do when your on the IRC! Haha. Anyways...I appreciate Tango71's encouraging comments as well as Rosedollar's.

I emailed her today and told her that I am open to anything wether it be ranting or raving...etc. I really hope to earn some trust from her. We seem to be compatible in so many ways it almost seems like a dream. I really hope we hit it off. But I also am not being unrealistic in my expectations. This could all go south in a bug hury as well. But I ain't seen a hint of that yet! Must be good news for the both of us.

When we chat it seems like we are both thinking the same things. On a number of occasions we both typed out the exact reply at the same time. I suppose this is when colliding remarks can have their advantages! I think it's cool...and she thinks it's darn freeky! Ha ha

So...I hope to post back here soon. I will let eveyone know whats up.

As Rose said...we are just friends for now. She said so as well. However I believe we are never going to be intimate unless we actually meet.

Why do I say this?

You see...she has had a previous LDR! The guy dumped her and it never was meant to be. So..I am up against a rock and a hard place to prove to her that I am the one for her. People talk about how LDR's are tough...I think mine is one of the toughest kind. She just isn't going to be that easy to grab and take hold.

LDR's are tough. man are they tough...

I like it!!

Hello everyone!

We have been chatting ever since I last posted on this board. I wanted to let everyone know that i just emailed her and let her know how I feel about things.

I also gave her my phone number and address and told her to call me when she is ready. I didn't want to for force it upon her to call me so I just left it at that and told her I didn't expect anything more if she wasn' ready to talk over the phone.

I would really like to talk with her. She seems very intelligent and kind. We will see what happens!

I have faith that she will call me. I think she has a hard time expressing her feeelings on IRC so I was hoping to make it as comfortable for her as possible.

Thanks!

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your support. I really appreciate the time people have spent replying.

Ok, here is the situation. I sent her that email I told you all about above. We chatted the last few days following that but she never emailed me back about the email. I thought something was wrong. All of the sudden she stops emailing me. What's wrong i thought?

So today we were chatting and we said the usual hello and I asked her how she was feeling because she has a cold. So I thought I would try to comfort her and make her feel better.


Then things started to change for what i thought was wierd attitude on her part.

The problem is this. I told her that she would look good in a dress. Sound ok? Fine. Then we started to chat about a party that we both were going too out of town and that i would see her at the party. I just told her that it would be good to see her.

Everything at this point seemed to be going ok.

Then I told her that I care for her. Not a man and woman type of relationship in love but more of a friendship type of caring attitude. But we know how words can be misinterpreted. Then she said she didn't care for me to say"you would look beautiful in a dress". She started to close down on only the negative conotations of what that could have meant. She thought i was saying "Boy your a hot momma, I would relly like to get you in bed" I thing thats how she took it. Anyway, I don't know why she thinks this knowing that I am a decent and honest and very kind man. I just tried to make light of the whole situation and tell her how I really felt.

Then she started typing really fast. Like I was some type of punching bag, yaknow..."you said this and you meant that...you don't know this...
She was really frustrated and she said so. She said that she was frustrated at the fact that I was trying to turn this into a forced love type of situation and that I tried to force her to call me when she really never wanted to in the first place.


I stepped back and regained my composure. I thought that she was taking what I say on the chat way to seriously. It seemed that no matter what I said tonight could have rectified the situation. I told her that I understood and she seemed to calm down from what seemed like major oveerreaction to my simplistic, honest and kind words. It is almost as if she changed overnight from me being a friend to a total stranger who wanted to totally ignore me and/or rip my guts out.

I thought we enjoyed a great friendship over these last 4 months however she seems to be backsliding and no longer trusting me. I don't think she believs what I say is true and honest anymore. Ok maybe a little.

The sad fact here is that I do care for her and I don't want her to love me because I say so. I want her to like me for what I am. But she is very secretive and not open to emotion and

I know she is an emotional person. Sometimes when people get hurt intheir past relationships they can't handle anymore hurting going on and they just close up and act stiff and secluded towards others.

This is sad. Really sad. I feel for her and her safety. I no longer feel like we will be in love anytime soon but at least she told me all of this stuff. She really did open up and tell me she was hurt abd that she had a rough childhood and 2 major breakups with previous boyfriends.

I feel I have done no wrong but that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Perhaps things will pan out in the future. For now though I think I will focus on being more of a friend and not giving up on her broken heart. Perhaps I can do more help that way then by trying to any further in this relationship. I hope she finds the man of her dreams. I don't know if that will be me but I could calm her worries. Maybe she is testing me? I don't know. All I want to do is cry for her. I told her I was sorry for nothing. She never yelled at me. I know this is something she needs to take care of.

I feel for anyone (male or female) that's been divorced, beaten up, yelled at unneedlessly and/or been subjected to other ruthless acts. I hate living in a world of pain and death. It shouldn't be this way. Where is the love?

What do i do?

Respectfully,
BeeSpring

Well. Everything is fine now! We had a little disagreement and now she tells me she just want's to be my friend. She still doesn't want to talk to me over the phone. She also said she will not go out of her way to see me. I would do it though! What can I do? I like her and she likes me but she never thinks I will see her or it would be too hard.

Should I just wait it out and keep talking to her? She said she enjoys chating with me. What could be the deal with not wanting to talk to me?

By the way, i have her address and phone number. I told her i will send a card for Christmas. and she will too! What is going on? Does she like me or not? I am getting tired of waiting!

Hellllppp! I think I am going crazy!

Thanks for the reply.

I thought about this alot...

She more than likely doesn't care for me like I do with her.Since she doesn't want to talk to me then maybe I should call the whole thing off and send my regards and leave. I don't want to cause any undo stress in this relationship. But I would stay if i got signs from her that she really likes me. And I don't see that happening at all. She is nice however she never goes out of her way to say caring things.

I have heard people say that long distance relationships are the same as meeting them in person. I would have to partially disagree with this. I disagree because we have never talked on the phone. I really-really don't know her and can't say we are best friends and truly care for one another until we talk on the phone. This is one of the downsides to online chating that I see.

After all she was the one who wanted to talk to me at the start. Is it possible I have somehow ruined this all because I was too pushy? That would really stink! What if we really were meant to be together??

One final question please.

How do i know that it's ended? I mean the relationship. How can I tell it's gone? Are there signs I should look out for? I don't want to waste my time on this if she really doesn't care for me or never wants to talk. I have feelings too.

Thanks!

Hi Tango.

To answer you questions...

First of all. I have to initiate the chat. She seldom does this but maybe once in a while. But if i wait long enough she will click on me to chat. This can be anywhere from 3-10 minutes.

She only initially emailed me once. And that was a while ago (3 months). I seem to be the one emailing her first. When I email her she always relies back to me with kind words but nothing about caring or anything dear to me. When I discuss friendship or anything about the way she looks then she says she feels "uncomfortable".

In chat she used to just say "goodbye" or "see ya". But now she says "Goodbye BeeSpring!". She seems more comfortable in chating with me as the months have passed by. She is also more open to my emotional support as well. When she is having a bad day I try to help out the best I can. If I ask her how her day was she always asks me how mine was. We never say "goodbye cutie" or "dear" or anything like that. It's been 6 months, should we be chating like that?


As for calling. Yes I do have her number. She gave me her address to send her a card. I looked up her number on mapquest but she never freely gave it too me. I gave her a card for Christmas and she gave me one. Maybe I should call her even though she said she didn't want me to call?

This is wierd, but when we chat it seem like there are times when she is thinking or doing something and there is a long 1-2 minute pause in our chat. This happens when I get sentimental or show concern for her wellbeing. She always thanks me for thinking about her. But at the same time I seem to ask most of the questions and seem to be the one pouring most of my effort into this whole thing.

I have been trying to do some type of obstaining at times with her to test her out. I just want to see if she really cares about me. I have told her many times that I do. So if I don't chat with her for a week or so she emails me and says "Where ya been?" and then we chat once more. It seems like a roller coaster at times.

Honestly though, this is all getting a bit too wierd for me. I really can't keep this up for too long. But something inside of me says to hold out.

I think she is using me as just someone to talk too. But maybe I am wrong. I know I make her feel better but that's about all it seems like. I am very new to this LDR chat stuff. What should I do?

Thanks!