Feeling like my life is on hold...

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jakiedoodle

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Posts: 1

(06/17/03 18:06:40)

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What about feeling like your life is "on hold" as you wait to see if you will ever be with the one you love??
I have a 4 1/2 year old son and really want another child. I am 30 years old. I never wanted my child to be an only child. I grew up with 2 brothers and 2 sisters. I live in Massachusetts and my partner in Michigan. I cannot more there because of my son and she has to wait till who knows when to leave her job so she doesn't lose the pension she has built up there. It could be a year and a half, or it could be 4...I don't know and she doesn't know. We've already been together for almost 3 years...and it's really really getting tough on me. Besides all of the obvious things like being lonely etc... I truly want to add to my family and I'm not getting any younger. I'm sure I sound like I have anger...and I probably do. This is the toughest thing I've been through :luvsic

and not knowing is killing me.
How do you all deal with it?? Have any of you been in a situation like mine and felt like your life was in limbo?
Please...any words of wisdom and advice would be greatly appreciated.
-Nicky

rosedollar

Re: Feeling like my life is on hold...

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Posts: 4446

(06/20/03 11:44:59)

SENIOR MODERATOR

Hello Nicky! how are you? Welcome to the forum! Thank you for joining us and trusting us with your story.

I understand how you feel Nicky. What I don't understand is why your life has to be on hold while waiting for the achievement of your goal. Do you know what you really want?? Both of you should talk about this. You can work it out if you are willing to compromise. While working at your goal together, you can do a lot of constructive things with your life. It doesn't have to be on hold. If it is, then don't stay being "on limbo". Get our of it soon and get yourself motivated! Always keep your focus on your goals.

I know this may be odd, but are you male or female? I just wasn't sure because you said you had a son and you want to add to you family because you are not getting any younger. I was just not so sure about it.

Warm regards and do come back here often! :cheers

dLaY

Re: Feeling like my life is on hold...

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Posts: 2858

(06/20/03 16:03:59)

JUNIOR MODERATOR

Hello Nicky ... welcome to the forum ... by the way to tell you frankly I'm having a hard time to answer too this problem that is why it takes me for awhile to responce to this question.

Well maybe the other reason is because I don't feel that my life is on hold. I'm very much happy to have one child on my own.. satisfied in my life even sometimes my partner and I are not together as often we want too but I thank God for that ..I don't keep our life to be on hold cause we have our common goals.

I know sometimes you feel lonely ..you don't know what to do..its natural thing..that's ok everything will get better dont be on a hurry ...it takes time my dear nicky try to make things step by step... just don't give up dont loose hope and faith.... Be more active while both of you are waiting..don't think to much so you won't feel alone and down. Be happy life is too short ok. :ok

Godbless and goodluck to both of you.

shine N light :f3

citrus and cedar

Re: Feeling like my life is on hold...

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Posts: 18

(06/20/03 17:14:14)

Hi, Nicky ! I don't think you should lose hope and neither should you feel that you are lost. Love dies only when one of you decides to turn and walk away, leaving the other behind in the dark. Hopefully, that bond is strong enough to carry you both through difficult and testing times. Constant communication is a big factor in a relationship. It's also great to give reassurance that you still have and belong to each other, despite the distance and hurdles you have to overcome to reach your goal. Do you provide "food for the heart" and not just talk and whine about how difficult it is to make things fall into place? Now about your desire to have another child. Is this something you have discussed with her? Or is it a plan you are conceiving in your mind without even telling her about it? If she lives in the U.S., too, can she not continue to build that pension even if she transfers to another state? I could be mistaken....but I think some pensions are "portable" amongst different states. Only when you move to another country prematurely will that pension be lost.

I can imagine the frustration, and yes, the anger you feel. But if deep within you, this person is the only one you'll ever be happy with, the only woman who will complete you, then belt out those years. Keep loving her, go build your dreams together, and constantly let her know how strongly you feel about her. Someday, with your combined efforts, those dreams will unfold as reality right before your eyes. I know the statement " my life is in limbo" meant your happiness is on hold, and doesn't mean that you are neglecting yourself. Perhaps the reason for this limbo is your uncertainty about whether you should persevere, or abandon...what are you so afraid of? Love makes time pass. Take that leap of faith. And always whisper those powerful words in her ear..."I love you, nothing will come between us."

DaveB21

im in the same boat...

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Posts: 3

(11/12/03 22:40:38)

thiers no gurantee or time date on when im going to actually have a real relationship with my g/f, meaning living near or with her, not 2336 miles appart. their is only one issue for me unfortantly its $, and being 20, its a big one when trying to move out to a rich california neighboorhood alone. I dont have much advice, but if you both really love each other just keep the spark by frequent visits I think any LDR will last in the end if your content in the mean time by just seeing them every 4 weeks or so, I would LOVE if i could see my g/f every 4 weeks not less then a week every 3 months, this time may even be longer, and it gets so hard once u pass 8 week line...

good luck and hang in thier, go visit her or send her flowers, I live in MI motivate her ot move with u or near u, tihs state SUCKS especially detroit where im at, non stop crime horrible weather, i could go on.

Tango71

Re: im in the same boat...

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Posts: 1524

(11/12/03 23:12:31)

ADMINISTRATOR

Hello Nicky,

How are you doing? It has been a while since you have posted this thread and I have read many good advice here. I can't add anymore to what the others have said but to hope you the best and to adivce you not to give up on some of the things that makes you happy because of the distance. I hope you can stop by and update us all.

Take care!

Just me,

dLaY

Let it go

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Posts: 2858

(01/21/04 10:29:40)

JUNIOR MODERATOR

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains....LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth....LET IT GO (PLEASE!!!!!!)

If someone has angered you.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge....LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that longer meets your needs or talents.....LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude......LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better.....LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!

If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

I just wish your doing fine Nicky.

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Feeling like my life is on hold...

Feeling like my life is on hold...

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