Hello,
This is my first posting.Before I say anything,you will find this is a VERY VERY long posting.Please I ask you not to judge or be unkind.Iam going thru a rough time right now.I have been to Hell and back the last 2 years.
Iam Depressed,heartbroken and dont know what to do.I met a man on the Internet 2 years ago.We hit it off terrifically from the very start.He is from a Country in the South Pacific,however is living and working in another Country.
We're the same age(31),we have alot in common,enjoy the same things,want the same things out of life..We can talk about any and everything,we laugh,joke,he cried with me when I told him my Mother died...
Up until last year,we called each other several times per week,emailed each other 20-30 times a day,chit chatted online daily.He was making plans to come here the Summer of 2002 while on vacation to see me.
Suddenly I stopped hearing from him.So I emailed him and asked him what was wrong,if everything was OK between us.He told me,"If there were a limit for love I would of reached long ago.If I could explain I would but I cant."He changed his mind about coming.
In June 2002,one night we were talking on Yahoo, he told me he needed to tell me something and hoped it didnt hurt me...He told me he had met a gal on the net in 2000.She lives in New Zealand.
I asked him that night if he had concerns regarding their relationship IE:Age diff,her being a Student and him already having his Masters.He said when he went to see her there would be things he looked for to know if he wanted to continue the relationship.
He had been in a bad relationship that ended 5 years ago due to her cheating...She begged him to take her back,he wouldnt.He told me this gal he met in 2000 got 75 % of his interest because she was the 1st gal he met after his break-up(which was very painful.)
The gal was 22-23 at the time,a student at University.She told him she was a Virgin and he was her first Boyfriend.When we met(online)she had stopped all communications with him..so he thought he should move on and meet other ppl.
Well...she came back in the picture that is why he changed his mind about coming...They would go back together and split up..go back together and split up..Each time he would come to me.
Three different times he made plans to come see me...3 times he changed his mind..
During all this...he still called me,emailed me etc.
Well in July 2002,he supposedly went to NZ and spent a few days with her.He was gone for a month.When he got back,he called me.He told me they decided to get married.This totally floored me.I cried...he cried...he kept telling me,"Ladynee what do you want me to do?Please your breaking my heart."
He told me one of his Sisters said she would Pray for me.I felt like it was something he was being forced to tell me.The same night,he told me he told the Gal about me...I figure someone of her age would see me as competition and hang on even if they actually cared nothing for him.
When he got back from vacation,he told me while visiting,her parents pushed marriage off on him heavily...the gal told him she had no problem marrying him.I cant understand why an intelligent man of his background and age would settle for or marry someone he had met only once...
One night we were in a chat room tied with his Country.It was in November 2002.He told me he was upset with her because he wanted her to visit him.He told me he called her and told her she was a small gal that was a student that wasnt ready to make a life..He is ready to settle.
He was angry with her because she wouldnt go see him at HIS expense..he told me that she constantly made excuses not to go see him.SARS,yada yada yada.He even told me her Dad mentioned to him she couldnt go until after Marriage.
Around this time,he told me she hardly emailed him,out of 10 calls she called him once and talked 5 min...he has sent her thousands of dollars,and told me he was thinking of opening up an Acct for her so he could deposit money in.
In January 2003 my Mother died.I was at my Dad's for 5 months.While there,he called me 10 + times.Two days in a row(out of the blue)in June he called me and told me he was making plans to come see me while on vacation.He was happy,excited and anticipating.
One of the days he called me,he said to me,"I should come and marry you and forget about life."Then in an email I got from him he told me he wasnt doing well but would be ok soon..have no idea what he meant but it was something personal.
Last year there were lots of changes at his work.His Dept had a change of Admin,he got a new Boss(that is a doozie),he got a cut in Salary.I didnt know most of this until around September 2003.
In April last year,they had a Network crash at his work place.I called him one day and asked him if he was still coming.He told me his Boss told him that he didnt want him leaving the Country for more than 5 days at a time,in case they had another Network problem.
I returned home in June last year from my Dad's.I asked a Friend to email him and tell him I was back home and to give me a call.Well the 1st of July he called me.We had a wonderful conversation.
I then called him July 4th,it was a terrible conversation.So I decided not to call him or email him.I did give him a mail the 25th of July.I poured out my heart and soul to him.He never replied to me,still to this day hasnt mentioned it.From July to September I didnt hear from him either thru email or Telephone.
I broke and on September 18th,I called him.When he heard my voice he cried.He said,"Ladynee you were like a Rain in the Desert."Well..we had a nice chat.I asked him if his Brother and Sister in Law would be coming to his Niece' Graduation in May 2004.
He told me he had talked to his Brother,he and his Wife wouldnt be able to make it,that he was coming.His Niece goes to a High School here in the States and lives 2 States away from me..
Anyway I called him the middle of October 2003 because I had read about an Earthquake in the area where he is.He told me,"Hi my Fiance came over and we're shopping."I hung up on him.
That killed me!!!I was so lost...confused...hurt...Depressed...I couldnt eat,sleep...I cried non-stop for weeks.
A Week before my Birthday in November,a Friend of mine called him and reminded him not to forget.They had a great talk.
My Friend told me she mentioned to him that she had heard alot of wonderful things about him.He said,"Reaaaaally?"like he couldnt believe I had said nice things about him.
She asked him if he was married,he told her not at the moment,but I have a Fiance.She said,"Oh really?What is her name?"He goes hmmm hmmm hmm, hmmm its in her Language...hmmm hmmm hmmm its hard to Translate..hmmm hmmm then he piped out a name that sounded like For get her.
My Friend told me she almost told him to spit it out he was hemhawing around.He told her she had been over for a week and would be returning to NZ tomorrow..no wait Saturday...no no Monday...Monday...yeah Monday..
My Friend asked him how their vist was..he told her I think it was OOOOKKKAAAYYY like it was the bigggest drag of his life.The dates his"Supposed"was there doest add up because I talked to him the middle of October and she was there.The Friend called him the very first week in November.
On my Birthday,he called my Dad's house first.Dad wasnt home so he left a message.He then called my house.He talked for 5 mins.He also sent me two wonderful loving Birthday Greetings to my Email.
Words he said to me in those cards you would know he wasnt involved with someone.He told me he loved me,with much love for you,I glow like the morning sun,but the source of my happiness is you...you are special.If I were there I would kiss you all over and tell you how beautiful you are.
In December,we talked.He told me he lost his job.He got a written letter from his work place that told him his Contract needed to be evaluated.After July 30th,he wont have a job.
We talked another day in December about our relationship.He told me he needed to think about what he wants in life..is it right decision to marry you.So after we talked,I backed off.He called me 6 days later and told me he decided to come.
For his Birthday,I sent him several Birthday Cards.He sent me a thank you card.He told me the cards werent empty,the were filled with love.I cant stop thinking about them...not the cards YOU.
We talked several other times after the night he told me he was losing his job.We talked about what we wanted to do,settling down,he even brought up our Babies.I could hear him smiling and glowing on the Telephone.
Like I previously mentioned,the past year I dont hear often from him.Well several days ago I did something totally mean and nasty to him.
There are many people living in the States that hail from his Country.I emailed him and told him I was considering..you notice I said considering inviting two of the Men to the house for a weekend.
Ya know go out to Dinner,have few drinks,talk in the Language of their Country and more.He totally went off on me.He said,"Go for it..Have fun..you've waited too long.. ts overdue...
I'm for the idea..."
Also,"Thanks for everything.I value it very much but I can't be the person
you want in life.Please,move on..
I have decided to move on with this young gal..I think she will give me
good company.
I wish you best of luck..Be happy always.Cute baby!.Yeah! and don't
forget..You're simply the best...Cute little babe
With warm thoughts,"
Also,"Ok,that's cool..You don't have to believe me.. I understand..maybe
its the way you expressed to the gals.Ofcourse,I don't
expect you to believe every word I tell you..
I have no regrets over your decision....
Starting from now..I will not write or talk to you.I must let you
free.I'm scared..
Bye...bye..."
He told a Friend of mine,"Ladynee and me have broken up and
I am moving on in life.Today,she send me an email, that she has
decided to move on and I encouraged her to do so."
Also,"I value your thoughts and feel so much for Ladynee.I need some time to
think over this.."
He told another Friend of mine,"I got that unexcepted email which shock
me... She just got straight into making her point... I hold my
breath....
I understand how she felt being let down by me and i can not live to
her
expectations.I knew and still know that Ladynee is a very good gal.I
would never want to leave her but I have decided that I should move on,its better to be Friends than lovers."
He then told me,"You're so nice and beautiful.You did what every woman could do.Don't
blame yourself for anything.I may have over reacted but have decided to
move on in life.We are just good friends.
Like I just wrote to Friend,Its better to be friends than lovers...I
don't want you to expect things from me or vise visa.
To be honest with you,I have completely forgton about our relationship
as it used to be.I'm moving on.I do not wish to hurt you.I did before
and don't want to repeat.You had enough of me and you must move on too."
I wish I could understand what he means about expectations.The only thing(and even then it wasnt)was to love me and to hear from him as communication is vital and important.
I realize this is crazy what Im about to say,but I care about him...I love him...We have both hurt each other...I of course didnt mean to hurt him when I told him I was thinking about inviting those two men.
I should be angry for all the broken promises and for him treating me as a backup.Iam angry but at this moment Im hurting.He doesnt express himself well and lacks Self-Confidence.
To be quiet honest,I have never believed there was a Gal in NZ.There are far to many things that doesnt add up.Some of them you will read in my posting.
Im thankful I found this site.Im appreciative that you allowed me to expresss myself and hope you wont tell me Im crazy or judge me.
Thank you
This is my first posting.Before I say anything,you will find this is a VERY VERY long posting.Please I ask you not to judge or be unkind.Iam going thru a rough time right now.I have been to Hell and back the last 2 years.
Iam Depressed,heartbroken and dont know what to do.I met a man on the Internet 2 years ago.We hit it off terrifically from the very start.He is from a Country in the South Pacific,however is living and working in another Country.
We're the same age(31),we have alot in common,enjoy the same things,want the same things out of life..We can talk about any and everything,we laugh,joke,he cried with me when I told him my Mother died...
Up until last year,we called each other several times per week,emailed each other 20-30 times a day,chit chatted online daily.He was making plans to come here the Summer of 2002 while on vacation to see me.
Suddenly I stopped hearing from him.So I emailed him and asked him what was wrong,if everything was OK between us.He told me,"If there were a limit for love I would of reached long ago.If I could explain I would but I cant."He changed his mind about coming.
In June 2002,one night we were talking on Yahoo, he told me he needed to tell me something and hoped it didnt hurt me...He told me he had met a gal on the net in 2000.She lives in New Zealand.
I asked him that night if he had concerns regarding their relationship IE:Age diff,her being a Student and him already having his Masters.He said when he went to see her there would be things he looked for to know if he wanted to continue the relationship.
He had been in a bad relationship that ended 5 years ago due to her cheating...She begged him to take her back,he wouldnt.He told me this gal he met in 2000 got 75 % of his interest because she was the 1st gal he met after his break-up(which was very painful.)
The gal was 22-23 at the time,a student at University.She told him she was a Virgin and he was her first Boyfriend.When we met(online)she had stopped all communications with him..so he thought he should move on and meet other ppl.
Well...she came back in the picture that is why he changed his mind about coming...They would go back together and split up..go back together and split up..Each time he would come to me.
Three different times he made plans to come see me...3 times he changed his mind..
During all this...he still called me,emailed me etc.
Well in July 2002,he supposedly went to NZ and spent a few days with her.He was gone for a month.When he got back,he called me.He told me they decided to get married.This totally floored me.I cried...he cried...he kept telling me,"Ladynee what do you want me to do?Please your breaking my heart."
He told me one of his Sisters said she would Pray for me.I felt like it was something he was being forced to tell me.The same night,he told me he told the Gal about me...I figure someone of her age would see me as competition and hang on even if they actually cared nothing for him.
When he got back from vacation,he told me while visiting,her parents pushed marriage off on him heavily...the gal told him she had no problem marrying him.I cant understand why an intelligent man of his background and age would settle for or marry someone he had met only once...
One night we were in a chat room tied with his Country.It was in November 2002.He told me he was upset with her because he wanted her to visit him.He told me he called her and told her she was a small gal that was a student that wasnt ready to make a life..He is ready to settle.
He was angry with her because she wouldnt go see him at HIS expense..he told me that she constantly made excuses not to go see him.SARS,yada yada yada.He even told me her Dad mentioned to him she couldnt go until after Marriage.
Around this time,he told me she hardly emailed him,out of 10 calls she called him once and talked 5 min...he has sent her thousands of dollars,and told me he was thinking of opening up an Acct for her so he could deposit money in.
In January 2003 my Mother died.I was at my Dad's for 5 months.While there,he called me 10 + times.Two days in a row(out of the blue)in June he called me and told me he was making plans to come see me while on vacation.He was happy,excited and anticipating.
One of the days he called me,he said to me,"I should come and marry you and forget about life."Then in an email I got from him he told me he wasnt doing well but would be ok soon..have no idea what he meant but it was something personal.
Last year there were lots of changes at his work.His Dept had a change of Admin,he got a new Boss(that is a doozie),he got a cut in Salary.I didnt know most of this until around September 2003.
In April last year,they had a Network crash at his work place.I called him one day and asked him if he was still coming.He told me his Boss told him that he didnt want him leaving the Country for more than 5 days at a time,in case they had another Network problem.
I returned home in June last year from my Dad's.I asked a Friend to email him and tell him I was back home and to give me a call.Well the 1st of July he called me.We had a wonderful conversation.
I then called him July 4th,it was a terrible conversation.So I decided not to call him or email him.I did give him a mail the 25th of July.I poured out my heart and soul to him.He never replied to me,still to this day hasnt mentioned it.From July to September I didnt hear from him either thru email or Telephone.
I broke and on September 18th,I called him.When he heard my voice he cried.He said,"Ladynee you were like a Rain in the Desert."Well..we had a nice chat.I asked him if his Brother and Sister in Law would be coming to his Niece' Graduation in May 2004.
He told me he had talked to his Brother,he and his Wife wouldnt be able to make it,that he was coming.His Niece goes to a High School here in the States and lives 2 States away from me..
Anyway I called him the middle of October 2003 because I had read about an Earthquake in the area where he is.He told me,"Hi my Fiance came over and we're shopping."I hung up on him.
That killed me!!!I was so lost...confused...hurt...Depressed...I couldnt eat,sleep...I cried non-stop for weeks.
A Week before my Birthday in November,a Friend of mine called him and reminded him not to forget.They had a great talk.
My Friend told me she mentioned to him that she had heard alot of wonderful things about him.He said,"Reaaaaally?"like he couldnt believe I had said nice things about him.
She asked him if he was married,he told her not at the moment,but I have a Fiance.She said,"Oh really?What is her name?"He goes hmmm hmmm hmm, hmmm its in her Language...hmmm hmmm hmmm its hard to Translate..hmmm hmmm then he piped out a name that sounded like For get her.
My Friend told me she almost told him to spit it out he was hemhawing around.He told her she had been over for a week and would be returning to NZ tomorrow..no wait Saturday...no no Monday...Monday...yeah Monday..
My Friend asked him how their vist was..he told her I think it was OOOOKKKAAAYYY like it was the bigggest drag of his life.The dates his"Supposed"was there doest add up because I talked to him the middle of October and she was there.The Friend called him the very first week in November.
On my Birthday,he called my Dad's house first.Dad wasnt home so he left a message.He then called my house.He talked for 5 mins.He also sent me two wonderful loving Birthday Greetings to my Email.
Words he said to me in those cards you would know he wasnt involved with someone.He told me he loved me,with much love for you,I glow like the morning sun,but the source of my happiness is you...you are special.If I were there I would kiss you all over and tell you how beautiful you are.
In December,we talked.He told me he lost his job.He got a written letter from his work place that told him his Contract needed to be evaluated.After July 30th,he wont have a job.
We talked another day in December about our relationship.He told me he needed to think about what he wants in life..is it right decision to marry you.So after we talked,I backed off.He called me 6 days later and told me he decided to come.
For his Birthday,I sent him several Birthday Cards.He sent me a thank you card.He told me the cards werent empty,the were filled with love.I cant stop thinking about them...not the cards YOU.
We talked several other times after the night he told me he was losing his job.We talked about what we wanted to do,settling down,he even brought up our Babies.I could hear him smiling and glowing on the Telephone.
Like I previously mentioned,the past year I dont hear often from him.Well several days ago I did something totally mean and nasty to him.
There are many people living in the States that hail from his Country.I emailed him and told him I was considering..you notice I said considering inviting two of the Men to the house for a weekend.
Ya know go out to Dinner,have few drinks,talk in the Language of their Country and more.He totally went off on me.He said,"Go for it..Have fun..you've waited too long.. ts overdue...
I'm for the idea..."
Also,"Thanks for everything.I value it very much but I can't be the person
you want in life.Please,move on..
I have decided to move on with this young gal..I think she will give me
good company.
I wish you best of luck..Be happy always.Cute baby!.Yeah! and don't
forget..You're simply the best...Cute little babe
With warm thoughts,"
Also,"Ok,that's cool..You don't have to believe me.. I understand..maybe
its the way you expressed to the gals.Ofcourse,I don't
expect you to believe every word I tell you..
I have no regrets over your decision....
Starting from now..I will not write or talk to you.I must let you
free.I'm scared..
Bye...bye..."
He told a Friend of mine,"Ladynee and me have broken up and
I am moving on in life.Today,she send me an email, that she has
decided to move on and I encouraged her to do so."
Also,"I value your thoughts and feel so much for Ladynee.I need some time to
think over this.."
He told another Friend of mine,"I got that unexcepted email which shock
me... She just got straight into making her point... I hold my
breath....
I understand how she felt being let down by me and i can not live to
her
expectations.I knew and still know that Ladynee is a very good gal.I
would never want to leave her but I have decided that I should move on,its better to be Friends than lovers."
He then told me,"You're so nice and beautiful.You did what every woman could do.Don't
blame yourself for anything.I may have over reacted but have decided to
move on in life.We are just good friends.
Like I just wrote to Friend,Its better to be friends than lovers...I
don't want you to expect things from me or vise visa.
To be honest with you,I have completely forgton about our relationship
as it used to be.I'm moving on.I do not wish to hurt you.I did before
and don't want to repeat.You had enough of me and you must move on too."
I wish I could understand what he means about expectations.The only thing(and even then it wasnt)was to love me and to hear from him as communication is vital and important.
I realize this is crazy what Im about to say,but I care about him...I love him...We have both hurt each other...I of course didnt mean to hurt him when I told him I was thinking about inviting those two men.
I should be angry for all the broken promises and for him treating me as a backup.Iam angry but at this moment Im hurting.He doesnt express himself well and lacks Self-Confidence.
To be quiet honest,I have never believed there was a Gal in NZ.There are far to many things that doesnt add up.Some of them you will read in my posting.
Im thankful I found this site.Im appreciative that you allowed me to expresss myself and hope you wont tell me Im crazy or judge me.
Thank you
Hello and welcome to Windows of Love!! 
It took me a while to read. And finally, here is my impression. I can only think of two concepts to share:
Ladynee.
